Tears from him.
In that hotel room, in the dark.
Unmanning me.
“I can’t… just can’t!”
His voice pleaded, pulling the sheets up, aborting the moment.
Me, Munsch’s Scream, silent, gaping. Not breathing. Pulse frenetic.
I couldn’t hear. Something about another girl, no — a woman.
Another woman. He loved us both.
She in Ohio, me in San Francisco.
But he was also in Ohio. When he wasn’t there with me, in that hotel room, a rare occurrence.
Too expensive by far, when one’s money sources were scarce.
And so. She was his every day.
And I his remember when.
*********************************
This piece was brought to you by:
from Kim (last week’s winner) via Lance at My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog. This is my first attempt at anything this short, I found it challenging in some ways, but liberating in others. Concrit and all other commentary is always appreciated!! And if you aren’t currently following Lance’s blog, GO DO IT NOW.
I loved this all round, but “And I his remember when.” I loved the most.
Thanks so very much! I enjoyed your entry too, looking forward to reading more of your stuff!
Damn…that finish is brutal! Fantastic play with the challenge!
Thank-you so much, I’m off to read your entry!!
great, gut punching, amazing, last line.
I love it. welcome back to the challenge. Leeroy is extra happy.
Glad to be here!!
Thanks!!
I love how we wrote about the same kind of things, Hotel rooms, near adultery. You did it so well.
I think you did a fantastic job, that last line was perfect.
Thanks so much!!
Oh, that last line. Amazing. So much stuffed into those few words.
Awesome
Thanks so much!!!
Your image of Munsch’s Scream was perfect. And, I agree… that last line said it all.
I’m so glad you liked it!!
Thanks for visiting!
Oh my God, those last 2 lines. Those. Last. Two. LINES. Brilliant.
Came from the 100 Word Song linkup.
Wow, so happy you liked it!! Thanks!
Seems as if “last lines” are what make a good 100 Word Song. Yours isn’t good though, it’s great!
So kind of you to say, thanks!
“And so. She was his every day.
And I his remember when.”
That right there is just perfect.
W00t! So happy that spoke to you!